Category Archives: Love

Mami Yana

Parenting is not a privilege, it’s a burden or vice versa

Children are a blessing from the Lord, and they’ll curse you

With the responsibility of someone else’s life in your hands

To be somebody else’s every single thing on demand

Making sure that little human eats, sleeps, breathes fresh air and gets sunlight daily

Prepares a healthy future for that itty bitty baby

Blessed are the babes in the Lord

Blessed are the doctors who cut the cords

The shielding of innocence becomes a constant

To be a vigilante for virtue is an honor

Without impeding on life’s authentic experience

Curving perception to be idealistic and utopian

But not fake, because we want to prepare them for real life

Protecting them from the destruction, disappointment and strife

To want what’s best and not know how to achieve it

To tell life’s lies without even meaning it

To be a wealth of knowledge with so many questions of your own

To be a hero whilst being fearful of the world you roam

Anxiety, depression, determination, blessings and dreams;

Motherhood makes it all increase

While fatherhood keeps them out the streets

Events I can’t control, so many triggers from childhood

Peace in my soul, letting go of the bitter entering parenthood

The pressure of perfection, the lasting impact knowing

The next generation and the one after that could be affected by the character I lack

Because parenting, yea, no, it’s not for everyone, kind of like college

Both could gradually turn you from sober living into a bumbling alcoholic

It’s challenging, it’s true, but don’t fall, crash and burn

Ask for help, seek resources, take solace and learn

To be patient with yourself, your child, your children, your spouse

To be understanding and know that then is not now

To be resilient and recover, reposition and rebound

To know when enough is enough, when to stand up and when to back down

To be all you can be and then become more

To walk with your head held high through open doors

To listen, love, and shine your light

To be the bearer of bad news and the keeper of good nights

To be a parent is a privilege and a burden

But to be someone’s hero and protector makes it all worth it

If you’re blessed to be a parent, be a winner, don’t forfeit

Because your child, your children are helping you fulfill your purpose

Inspiration

There’s a beautiful Black woman and she inspires me each day

With the quotes she says, the jokes she shares and the ways she makes a way

She keeps pushing, keeps going, keeps fighting, keeps growing

Knowing good and well the kinds of seeds she’s sowing

If she told you her story, there are parts you wouldn’t believe to be true

The challenges that she’s faced and bodied won’t stop the plans she has made up in her mind to do

Each day is a new gift, a blessing from above

So she let’s her light shine and leads each day with love

It’s not a secret that success takes hard work, dedication and focus

She allows you to lean in, learn from her journey and take notes Sis

If you want to be a hater, you can. That’s you.

But hating isn’t cool. Inspiration is the move

Let’s lift each other up, manifest positive things

Let us lift ev’ry voice and sing

Praises, thanks and apologies will bring the right people onto your team

Believe in yourself, believe in the next

Believe that one day your good is the best

Thank you so very much for inspiring me

I pray that you achieve all your dreams

Asé Queen

Learning How to Love Him

  1. Respectfully communicate with him 1a. sex is different for men, it’s their way of physically and emotionally bonding with you. Do not use sex as a tool of manipulation.
  2. Let him know he’s important to you
  3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings- even when you disagree with him
  4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trustworthy
  5. Let the small stuff go. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouses.
  6. Tell him you both love him and like him
  7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely
  8. Protect him dignity on a daily basis
  9. When confronting him, realize he has feelings too
  10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
  11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion, giving him time to adjust
  12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems- have fun instead
  13. Focus on what he’s doing right instead of focusing so often on the negatives
  14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life
  15. Give him special time with you apart from the children
  16. The first few minutes after a spouse come home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. Try to make this a positive experience. Ease into the negative.
  17. Give him time to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be mush more enjoyable
  18. Don’t allow family members to treat him disrespectfully. Defend him to anyone that dishonors his place as your husband.
  19. Compliment him often
  20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and actions
  21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to achieve together to feel closer as a marital team
  22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
  23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you
  24. Find ways to show him you need him
  25. Give him time to be alone. This energizes him to reconnect at other times.
  26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
  27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Love protects (1 Cor. 13:7)
  28. Respect his desire to do well- not just his performance
  29. Rub his feet or neck, scratch his back after a hard day
  30. Take time for the two of your to sit and talk calmly, schedule it when necessary
  31. Initiate going on romantic dates when he’s not tired
  32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him
  33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy
  34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family
  35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is giving specific reasons
  36. Give advice in a loving way, not in a nagging or belittling way
  37. Help your husband be the Spiritual Head of the Home (without ‘lording’ over him)
  38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not too tired when he wants you sexually
  39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities
  40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life
  41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family
  42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and when he’s not there
  43. Keep conversations brief when he’s tired
  44. Tell him three things you specifically appreciate about him
  45. Honor him in front of the children
  46. Look straight into the eyes of your husband when he talks to you or if you’re speaking to him. This will make him feel that you are interest un what he wants to say.
  47. Get up early and pray with him
  48. Be his help-mate in whatever ways you sense he needs it
  49. Participate in shoulder to shoulder activities without talking. Sometimes men just like to be with you and not talk
  50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it
  51. When your husband is in a bad mood, give him time to recover and don’t crowd him
  52. Help him finish his goals, hobbies, or education when you see he needs it
  53. Treat him as if God stamped on his forehead “Handle with Care”
  54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him
  55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
  56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way
  57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house.
  58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord”
  59. Make sure he agrees with everything important you plan to do
  60. Do little things for him
  61. Don’t belittle his intelligence of be cynical in your words with him
  62. Initiate sex periodically and respond more often
  63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off without having to ‘work’ at home
  64. Get to the point of your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them
  65. Discover his sexual needs
  66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work
  67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function
  68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he misspeaks
  69. Don’t quarrel over words
  70. Be kind and courteous with him. Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him
  71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better
  72. As a kindness, don’t say, ” I told you so”
  73. Try now to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead
  74. Take him out on dates. Pre-planning all of the details ahead of time
  75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public
  76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones
  77. Tell him you love him more often
  78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case
  79. Sit with him whiles he watches tv- even if the program doesn’t interest you
  80. Don’t expect him to read your mind
  81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone
  82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff
  83. Put effort to keep yourself in good shape
  84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical
  85. Carefully choose your words, remember to “speak the truth in love”
  86. Don’t criticize him in front of others, keeping his dignity intact
  87. Visit his childhood home with him
  88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment
  89. Pray for him
  90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick
  91. Look your best- dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you
  92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheerleader.
  93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children
  94. Take him for a weekend getaway without the children
  95. Cheer his successes whether in business or other areas of everyday living
  96. Graciously teach him how demonstrate his love for you
  97. Give him coupons to redeem
  98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet
  99. Hide notes around the house for him where only he will find them
  100. Thank him for being himself

My Significant Other

You inspire me

Yeah, that’s what he said

It made me smile and nod my head

Oh really! How’s that? I asked

Your beauty, your intelligence and that round little ass

Awww, you’re so sweet

When I’m with you my heart almost skips a beat

LOL’s and tears of joy

Falling for you is the ultimate ploy

You make me happy and you make me laugh

Losing you would have a sad, sad aftermath

Oh no baby, it’s cool. Don’t fret

I’m not going anywhere. I have no regrets

All that we do is beautiful and just

I have to have you. It’s a must

So next time you think to turn away

Think of the night you heard me say

I love you through and through.

You are definitely one cool dude

It is more than like. It is more than lust

I love you. You have my heart and my trust

I don’t just give these things away

You’ve earned them fair and square, I’d say

Know that, I am willing to change, to be good and fair

To be a better person keeping you fully aware

Of how I feel for you and the reasons that be

Just so you can awkwardly glance at me,

Ask me why I feel this and then tell me not now

Making me want to cry then I’ll break down

I’ll cry and you’ll hold me and I’ll feel better until

Until I remember that to you my love is no big deal

Mending

Of all the things to think about

It’s you that’s on my mind

As hard as I try, as hard as I cry

Everything seems to remind

Me of what I thought I wanted and what I thought I had

I’ll try to forget and then I remember, it’s all so very sad

“Why me?” is the first question that always comes to mind

But that’s too easy to answer

I’m just too one-of-a-kind!

I’m too intimidating, too assertive in my ways,

Too genuine, too vulnerable

That’s why I hurt for days

But I’m not going to change

I’m not going to regret

Just keep on moving forward

Who knows what will come next?

And then I ask myself, “what if this, this and that?”

But there are so many out there

That concept is almost too hard to grasp

It’s overwhelming to find an answer that provides adequate repair

My heart has been so broken by the power of despair

Here come the tears that flood from my soul

Because the pain is so raw and the love is so cold

Sometimes I think I will never surpass

I get frustrated and I just want to kick his ass

But it’s not his problem or his, it’s mine

And I know the only way I’ll get over it, get through is with time

Brown Skinned

Your brown is beautiful

It is deep, rich and pure

Wrapped up in it I feel happy, warm, secure

Your brown is beautiful

The shade is unique, varying, but clear

As the sun shines down, you make light appear

Your brown is beautiful

Winter, spring, summer, fall

Brown skin is forever wanted by all

Your brown is beautiful

It always has been

Brown furniture, brown cupboards, brown dresses, brown skin

Your brown is beautiful

Open your eyes and see

Melanin is a sacred gift God gave to you and me

Your brown is beautiful

Always remember

Your brown is beautiful January through December

A Poem of Self-Discovery

Hidden Legacy

It had been forever since she’d seen the woman she once was.

The woman she had grown to be

That woman, she was tough.

She was sassy, classy, pretty and sweet.

She was sophisticated, not too complicated,

Educated in the books, the beats and these streets.

She was ride or die, loyal.

She held it down ten toes deep

This woman was poised, sleek, mysterious and meek.

She was everything a woman should be.

Respectful. Responsible. Safe.

Held down a job, a car and had her own space.

She was fine as wine and thick as cold grits.

She could fit you in her schedule.

She was flexible.

And could even hit the splits.

But in all seriousness, she was real.

She knew there was pain.

She taught people to heal

From disconnect, different dialects

Dusty record sets and dumb deals.

She was there to watch, to listen 

An empath, to feel…

How our emotions, connections and energies reveal

Who we once were to people who care.

……

Thoughts?? Comment below.